How To Define What You Want

For this exercise you will need a period of uninterrupted time, paper, pencil, pens, colored sharpies. Assume that you are creating a masterpiece that is your life so don't hold back on what you will use.

If someone were to ask you a question, "What Do You Really Want? " most of us will be stumped.

It is the lesson of the genie in a bottle. If we are men we dream of walking into a room full of men with the most beautiful woman around. Why?

If we are women we dream of marrying a Prince and becoming a Princess like Cinderella. Again, why?
It is the why rather than the what that is more important.

With beginning coaching clients, I always have them fill out a form to define what they want, I give them a week. A week is a long time so we will define the question right here and right now.

1. What is your ideal day? Assuming that you have food on your table, roof over your head, money to travel if you wish, money for your child/children/granchildren [The really wealthy people have made it possible for two or three generations of their families to be provided for. The reason is no more than preserving the family name and preserving a bloodline with their name on it.] Money being no object.

2. What would you be doing which you enjoy immensely and will be richly rewarded for. However you are not doing this for the money. You are doing this because all of your physical needs are taken care of and you feel that in some way you are contributing to some greater cause. How would your work contribute to the richness of humanity?

3. If you wish to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, what would he/she be like? Formulate him/her in your mind as if you are in the laboratory, making her. The ideal person. I did not use the word perfect because perfection is a reflection of yourself. What is your ideal day with that person like?

4. What would it take, RIGHT NOW, in terms of dollar amount, to fulfill all of your deep wishes that you can live the lifestyle that you want?

This is difficult for lots of people to answer. They get bogged down by wishing for a lifestyle which they would probably want for a week or a month, but will soon get tired of. For example, I would want to ride a Lamborghini for a week, perhaps. I have no desire to own a Lamborghini, so I can rent one for a week and be done with it. On the other hand, I would like to build a better facility/nunnery for the nuns that I care about in the Philippines, for the cost of one Lamborghini.

5. What can you do RIGHT NOW that will bring you closer to that dream day. For some it is taking the day off and getting stock of where they are. For others it is making that extra phone call for the day.

6. If a genie were to appear on your doorstep right now or while you are in the bubble bath and says he or she will hand you you a check right NOW, no strings attached, what would the amount be? Why?

I hope you will do this exercise often, so that you can really define what you want.

© 2009 by Melinda M. Sorensson